lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
