How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
