Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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