it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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