she woke up with a sticky ear
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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