im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
