Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
