my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
two words: eviction party
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They took my balls.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
