so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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