I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
