I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize