What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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