I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
