Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
