i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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