Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
