Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize