what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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