Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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