Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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