Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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