She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
