You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
