Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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