She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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