Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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