We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
