Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I touched a dick in church today
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
