She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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