whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
