If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
