i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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