is your mom at the bar?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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