i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
3pm strippers are depressing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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