I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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