At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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