K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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