Dual....:-)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
