i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
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It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
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who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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