I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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