these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
