I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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