i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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