Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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