I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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