come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
