if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
"it" just moved
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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