so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
