My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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