I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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