I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
don't judge my taste in strippers
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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