He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
