Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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