Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
