I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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