You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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