Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
