So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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