Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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