just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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