I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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