garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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